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“Shut Up and Bend Over Backwards”- Tone in Texts

Hey, lovely learners!

A hardworking youth expresses that no words can convey how much he loves his woman. The woman responds, “Just convey it with money, ok?”

Could it be that the woman’s love language is receiving gifts?

Misinterpretation of the receiver’s love language has shattered many relationships, but many persons are now attributing the misreading of text language, be it email or Whatsapp messages to the falling out of casual and business relationships.

We might not all be enrolled in school, yet we frequently “fill in the blanks” with our worries and assumptions. With the absence of body language or “vibe,” we may have very little clue as to what the other person is trying to say in some text messages.

Yes, it’s nice for us to shut up sometimes, as the conversations in our minds may get so loud that we cannot truly read what the other person is writing. Notwithstanding, we may seek to please some people sometimes, but we shouldn’t harm ourselves in the process.

Furthermore, our relationship with the sender of the message may also dictate how we fill in the unclear parts of the messages sent- "the blanks."

Other times, we might end up in a “true or false” situation.

True or False

1. If I am given to feeling criticized, I will read criticism into the words. True

2. If I am anxious about someone demanding me, I will read their messages as demands or imperatives. True

To complicate matters, one might even slip into writing “short answers” or “essays” justifying one’s selection of words, asserting oneself or trying to prove a point, when in many cases, the sender who might have been having a bad day, is still trying to either get to know you or themselves.

Anyways, before we can discuss strategies to overcome misunderstandings between parties, we can endeavour to be generous.

In order to analyze a text well, be it academic or otherwise, we must understand the text or message on its terms. This also means that as receivers and readers, we have to assume the best of the author or sender's intent. Too often, we assume the worst of others, whether they are strangers or friends.

Honestly, we know that some misunderstandings and disagreements are irresolvable.

If one person is generous and the other is not even close to being supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (wonderful), a resolution may not be possible. Forcing someone in these scenarios can do more damage than good. It’s 100% reasonable to disengage the conversation or try another day.

Notwithstanding, it is easy for us to tear a text a part with the help of anxiety, insecurities, paranoia, or volunteered opinions of our cronies who are sometimes our “yes” men and women.

So, though it can be difficult, with time and effort, we can choose to extend generosity or simply put, shut up and bend over backwards when texting online.

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