Updated: Oct 6
2 Benefits of Appreciating Oneself Amidst Judgement
The bible says, “Judge and be ye not judged.”
I used to find it quite contrary and annoying to hear people say that we are not supposed to judge others. I mean, we observe and make educated guesses or create hypotheses all the time, right?
We even ‘judge’ the measurement of food, a popular practice of many Jamaicans who have never owned any measuring device for the kitchen apart from baby bottles and blenders that has some measurement printed on their sides.
Anyways, between balancing my eyes on the score sheets and the stage, and encouraging the contestants amidst wins and losses, judging the Mister Jamaica Ambassadors 2022 contestants certainly reminded me that we are so much more than what we are qualified to do. It’s important to appreciate oneself outside of the judgment of others.
Let’s peruse two benefits of appreciating oneself with or without others interference.
1. Surpassing the rubrics or expectations:
We operate within different environments and systems which reminds us about the evaluation rubrics which must be ticked off. Sometimes, it can feel quite overwhelming if we care about scoring high on that next evaluation, especially if it is a prerequisite for a promotion or referral.
Nonetheless, it’s way easier to align our habits and actions towards our personalized version of the standard. This facilitates a perfect compromise where we lessen feeling enslaved to somebody else’s expectations while purposefully fulfilling our heart’s desires. When we have already decided how we will accept and handle areas of improvement, we can better surpass the pointers on an evaluation template.
In areas of a competition, work or project where wins and judgements, are prone to biases, knowing that you’ve already won, announced or unannounced makes a difference. The lessons to be learned, connections made, and opportunities to impact others with what you have to give might just be the truest win to attain.
Between rubrics and scores which forms the basis of how we are sometimes evaluated are unseen efforts that does not quite get to be overtly presented. Nonetheless, our covert experiences colour how we show up.
May we appreciate our unseen struggles, efforts, wins, and losses daily even when others choose to not recognize us, deliberately or otherwise.
2. Worn and torn still has potential
The name for clothes worn at home or in the yard is known as “yard”, “house”, or “judging” clothes in Jamaica. For some, “judging” clothes is easily distinguished from clothes you wear on the road because of the stains, tears and permanent marks which the material has collected.
Some people may end up wearing the “judging’ clothes on the road, but is this really the type of clothes that one wants to be judged in? I am no historian concerning ‘judging” clothes, but there are some key observations to be made.
Some people will attempt to search for the tears and stains in your clothes called life. For a good laugh, they might shout out that your shoes is “begging bread”- the sole of the shoes has started to detach itself from the rest of the shoes. You might even laugh as the observer laughs with you.
Other times, your observer was only waiting for the right moment to laugh at you, but that is not even your business at all. Mishaps and mistakes happen. You may forget to replace in your bag the last super glue or nail glue that could have reattach your shoes tip.
Notwithstanding, "judging" clothes a few years ago is now trending. In fact, some people will pay to have their jeans pants or shorts redecorated with multiple tears and splashes of stains. Life is also evolving with changes. Today’s mishaps, if you choose, don’t have to dampen your tomorrow.
It is important to remember that you will sometimes show up as your best self in your “judging” clothes: running out to assist someone in the case of an emergency, working on a construction site or completing an outdoor project which requires you to sort of get dirty. If you resort to your "judging" clothes often to clean around the house, being prepared to endure some mess, you can use your message to create an impact now or later.
Others may not always be privileged to know, but you should always remember your WHY.
Key takeaway: One's judgement on self is dependent on the meanings attached to thoughts about oneself. Consequently, feelings of anxiety or anger may surface, but can be controlled or managed.